About me

Right. This is weird. I'll just plunge in.

I come from a family of six: two sisters, a brother, a mum and a dad. We lived in the country when I was little. Childhood was spent climbing trees, making nests out of grass clippings and crunching on thick ice puddles. I was pretty content. We moved to the city when I was ten, but my voice didn't make the transition. Overtaken by shyness, I spent lots of time over the next few years in my room, where I memorised all the capitals of the world and talked to my teddy bears until a disturbingly advanced age.

Up until fairly recently, I'd been working as a graphic designer and illustrator. I've had a rocky few years, and it got on top of me, so I'm having a kind of unplanned, extended break. The extra specially short version of events leading up to where I am goes like this: September 4th, 2010, a huge earthquake hit Christchurch, NZ, where I lived with my family. Then another in February 2011. Then another and another and hundreds in between. Our house, neighbourhood, city, and sense of safety was shattered. In June, another two big ones hit, and that was it. We jumped in the car and bolted, leaving the wet washing hanging on the line. We were stuck in an insurance nightmare for two and a half years, moved multiple times, and my marriage fell apart. Last year was an absolute shocker - for various reasons that I'll tell you about another day. It ended with me being made redundant.

There are some really great things about my life. I'm mum to three little people. I adore my children, and mostly I manage to put the better parts of me into parenting. They make me laugh and bring joy, even on the hard days when my mood is dark. I do lose my shit occasionally, and am far from perfect, but I think I do okay most of the time.

Another wonderful part of my life is art. I have always done it, but it's only now that I am going ahead and calling myself an artist. I'm just at the very beginning. I don't know what shape it will take yet, but it is a huge source of hope and happiness.

Books, nature, music and colour and some of my other favourite things. I heard someone speaking about the power of music recently (I cant remember who), but what they said perfectly described how I feel about colour. It's this:




I have some fantastic friends, though many of my them don't live in the same city as I do. The friendships I have are rich and long lasting, and I treasure them. There's nothing better than setting the world to right in a good, robust conversation with someone great.

Other things: I'm a pretty rubbish driver, and prone to driving into large, stationary objects. Spatially I'm very confused (I'm sure there are actual chunks missing out of my brain). I have a zero tolerance policy on slow walkers and sloppy queuing.

My plan is to stick with emotional honesty and humour in this blog - they're good tools to trawl through heavy material with. To give you a basic picture of things, I've written a sort of outline of my eating disorder here, There are going to be tricky bits - dismantling the bricks and mortar of this illness means going into my history. I haven't figured out how to deal with the really deep, gritty stuff yet, so I'll be treading carefully.

Bye :D
xx

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